WRITING PITFALLS

by Laura Groves
Watch out for these Pitfalls!

It’s possible to commit any number of writing errors, but below are six errors that make an editor cringe. Read on and learn how to avoid these common blunders.

1. “YOUR POINT IS?” THE EDITOR BARKED.
The use of empty adverbs is, quite frankly, just rather empty. Take a look at a sentence that uses the word “actually” or “totally.”

Kate was totally enraged when she realized she had been tricked.
(Can one be partially enraged?)

After weeks in a wheelchair, Sam was actually walking on his own power.
(Is there a chance the reader thinks Sam lives in a virtual world?)

If words like hopefully, incredibly, completely don’t really say anything in your sentence, banish them!

2. IT WORKS FOR WILL, BUT YOU SHOULD AVOID PASSIVITY.
“To be or not to be” works for Will Shakespeare, but the buck stops there. The use of “being” verbs like is, am, are, was, were, be, being, been can be so unimaginative.

It was a crisp, fall day.
(Autumn exploded in a frenzy of color while the leaves crunched under my toasty boots.)

There was a black cat lying on the doorstep.
(Shimmering like polished onyx, the black cat slithered over to the doorstep and carefully wound herself in a lazy semicircle.)

Those being verbs are used in passive constructions as well, so stay away from sentences like “The watch was stolen by Jim.” To avoid passivity, search and destroy those being verbs and replace them with vivid, active, engaging verbs! Perhaps “The stolen watch, pilfered by sticky-fingers Jim, jangled in his pocket.”

3. YOUR EDITOR READ IT THE FIRST TIME, AND THE SECOND, AND…
We all have favorite words, but break out that thesaurus! Find another way to say it. Repeating words distracts the reader and makes the author seem derivative. Even repeated sentence structure can blindside you, if you’re not careful.

“It’s a worthy project,” agreed Kirsten.
“Yes, but it’s also a costly project. What do you project in terms of cost?”
Enough said.

4. DON’T JUST TELL…USE IMAGERY.
We’ve all heard, “Show, don’t tell.” And we’ve all been guilty of that at one time or another. The best way to avoid telling? Use the senses! It’s what we English teachers call imagery: the use of sensory detail that evokes a reaction from the reader. Imagery gets a reader involved; he is no longer simply digesting a combination of words and trying to comprehend their meaning, he is relating to the work. We’ve told our reader something without “telling” him. When we show Ali surrounded by loving children, reveling in their laughter and capturing their chubby little hands in hers, the reader knows that Ali adores children. We don’t have to say, blandly “Ali just loved children.” The reader sees it and knows it.

5. RESUSCITATE YOUR WRITING WITH IMAGERY.
Flat, boring writing may get the plot from the first point to the second, but that’s all it accomplishes. Here’s an example:

After picking up his son at school, Brett stopped to get gas before heading toward home.
If you do that once and it appears in the midst of interesting sentences, it’s not so bad. A constant diet of this, however, will require the crash cart!

If you need help on this one, re-read numbers 2 and 4 above. Kill two birds with one stone -- use vivid verbs and imagery while communicating plot details.

6. COMMAS GONE BAD OBSCURE YOUR MEANING.
Commas make sentences understandable to the reader. Without them, you risk confusing your reader. Here’s a simple example.

Mary my sister is coming.
(Are you speaking to Mary? If so: Mary, my sister is coming.)
(Is Mary your sister? If so: Mary, my sister, is coming.)

If confusion can reign in such a simplistic sentence, you can imagine how misleading a complex sentence can be without clarifying commas. There are a number of important comma rules. I am an English teacher by trade and you really don’t want to get me started on the rules. Suffice it to say, if you don’t know the rules, pick up a book and learn them!